When we started home-schooling, the plan was to do it just for the last half of this year. We have been to the kids old private school and hope to start them there next year.
With all these plans for them, I have been thinking a lot about my own plans. Plans to have five minutes to my self again, and what can I do once I have more free time again. I have tried the study thing and found it quite hard but it was interesting to me. I don't have long until my score runs out and I would have to re-sit the exam to get it back again, if I don't use it before then. This has made me wonder if I should try again. Just take it slow and see. I was studying counselling and i'm sure their was a reason why I started it.
I guess the biggest thing that has had me thinking was something that was said some weeks ago by my Pastor.
Pastor Ian was sharing how much he feels ALIVE! when he goes surfing. It's his thing. The way he was discribing how it makes him feel and how he tries to do it as much as possible, really got me thinking.
I actually have not stopped thinking about it since!
What has been on my mind since that day has had me wondering. What is my thing?
I guess looking back I have just been in mummy/wife mode for so long, that I have kinda forgotten who I am and what I like.
Yes I have enjoyed myself over the years but I really don't know if that real ALIVE! feeling has been there.
Yes I have all that I have ever wanted. Yes I am happy. But am I ALIVE!??
Does this mean I am a boring person? Have I not truly lived because I have not found my thing?
I guess this is how Satan can get at us and cause confusion and doubt in us. We can start comparing ourselves to others and what they do and what they have achieved.
If I really want to, I can keep thinking this way and feel like I have let myself down, when in reality I should just think of it as a time to re-evaluate and think of the great things I actually do.
When I had decided it was ok if I don't get that ALIVE! feeling when I do anything, I actually realised I am content with the things I do enjoy.
For me scrapbooking is what I love to do. I can't say it gets my adrenaline going but I do enjoy it, especially when scrapping with others. The more I do it the happier I get.
I have been constantly saying I wan't to scrap but never get it out unless someone is going to do it with me. I recently had some friends around to scrap and since then I have left it out so I can do little bits at a time. My house feels messy to me because it's all out and it does get to me, but at the same time I am happy I am doing something I love so I don't care.
I know my pastor was not intending to make anyone feel bad if they don't have a thing. What I think he was trying to tell us was..... go live your life and have fun, enjoy it and do what you love to do.
If you don't know what it is maybe it's time to find it. Just make sure it's something just for you and make it your thing.
“In almost everything that touches our everyday life on earth, God is pleased when we’re pleased. He wills that we be as free as birds to soar and sing our maker’s praise without anxiety.” ~A.W. Tozer
No comments:
Post a Comment