Raw and Real

As I sit here I have a little sadness in my heart. I have just had a raw and emotional time, a heart to heart with my God. Tears have flowed and a lot of things have been released.
For years I have lived on empty, trying to do everything on my own and have put myself last for longer than I should. I guess today was just the overdue breaking point. For God to do a work in me I had to get here. It's my own doing. No one else has chosen my path but me. When you try to do life your way you end up at a dead end and stay there until you see that it was the wrong way that you went.
I have not managed to do a post for a while due to being too tired. I have been to doctors over the years to find out why but each time nothing seems to be resolved. I have made an appointment for next week and I am believing for answers this time. I am empty, and almost burnt out, it's time it was sorted out.
The whole point in this blog has been for me to show the raw side of me. Truth and nothing but the truth.
I have been talking to a friend about how as women we have a mask we show the world and we only take it off for some people. Only those we love and trust see the real us. There is more satisfaction in showing people what they want to hear and see than there is with showing raw and real. I am completely guilty of this myself. I rarely show that I am struggling or don't have my life under control. It's exhausting keeping up the lies. Unfortunately we women have bought into Satan's lies. We believe the lies, and live doing things in our own strength and show nothing but perfection. I am feeling more and more that a time is coming where we women will be stronger in our relationships than we have been before. For this to happen we need to let our walls down. We need to show the real us. The woman inside you and me is acceptable and lovable, even with all the ugly truths we never show anyone. We are going to get our breakthrough ladies. Its coming, we just need to do our part.
The Holy Spirit revealed to me, I hadn't really accepted that Jesus was enough for me. His dying on the cross was everything I needed and for me to get my breakthrough I had to lay every burden down at the foot of the cross and say to Jesus.
'Thank you Jesus for showing me raw and real. The stripes on your back, the thorns in your head and the blood you shed, were not in vain. You did all of these things for me, so I didn't have to carry life's burdens. I thank you Jesus for giving me somewhere to release them so I could find peace an comfort. You have shown me a love nothing can compare with. A love that is ever present and gives me strength when I need it. I am sorry I tried to do things in my own strength for so long. I am sorry I bought into Satan's lies for so long. I see where I have done you wrong and lay it all at the foot of your cross. I love you Jesus and thank you for for the love you have given me."

Ladies don't be like me and keep going down the wrong path. Stop where you are, thank Jesus for dying for you and for taking all your burdens with Him to the cross. Thank Him for giving you the answers to life and tell Him you are sorry for not seeing Him for who He really is. Most of all tell Him how much you love Him and need Him in your life.